Happy Birthday To Me.

Tomorrow is my twenty-third birthday.  In celebration of said event (and because I can't think of anything better to do) I've decided to write a terribly cliche post... 23 random facts about myself, my life, and recent events of note.

1. I have a freckle on the bottom of my foot.  In fact, I've gotten more freckes in the past year than I think I ever have before.  It's slightly unnerving.  At this rate, in 20 years I'll just be one giant freckle.  Sad day.  Hopefully I can get married before that happens, because if I don't... 
2. Last week I interviewed for a personal banker position at the bank.  It's come down to me versus a brand new teller that works at the location the position is at (Loveland).  I have six months experience on her, but my time commitment to bank has been questioned (they want multiple years) and she's already been halfway trained.  So... I find out early next week.  (fingers crossed!)
3. I'm going to Utah for General Conference next weekend.  A bunch of friends are caravanning (real word?) there on Friday night, mooching beds for the weekend, and trying to grab tickets in Temple Square.  (On that note, if anyone else wants to come, I have room in my car).  Hang out with Grandma.  Hopefully see Ashley and Austin and other friends if I make it down to Provo.  Binge on the gospel feast that is General Conference.   Oh yeah.
4. Putting aside my pending PB job application, I was just certified as a Teller II at the bank.  What does that mean exactly?  I can handle more cash without supervisor approval.  Not that big of a deal.  But the raise is definitely appreciated!
5. I'm in a "new" ward.  It's been quite the experience being thrust into a group where I know maybe ten out of a hundred people.  I've found good friends in people I saw as just acquaintences before, and have had to get out of my comfort zone and meet some new people.  The switch was conveniently timed, too.  However... (awkward transition to next point)  
6. I'm moving in with my new-ish friend Meghan in a few weeks.  She's a riot (I love that phrase, by the way).  We've bonded over boys and hard times and dancing and countless other things.  We haven't found a place yet, but it'll be in the boundaries of the Prospect ward, so she can keep her calling as Relief Society president.  And she'll be with me on the caravan adventure (see point #3)!
7. The movie Megamind is ridiculous.  Yes, it's a children's movie about a big-headed blue alien bad guy who invents a good guy to fight with after he kills off his arch-nemisis and gets bored.  But the well-written banter and have-to-watch-it-a-few-times-to-get-everything humor offset its predictibility and cuteness.  Watching it with friends made it enjoyable, too.
8. I reached my 7:30 minute mile goal last weekend.  I may have wanted to die by the end, but I did it.  I don't know how much faster I can get, my short legs can hardly keep up as it is!
9. I'm not addicted to many things, but the fall premieres of the Office and Glee and a few other shows I'm too embarrassed to admit may have made me happy this week.  Not having cable is usually not a bother, but it's times like this where Hulu is a lifesaver!
10. Fall is here.  I cried a little inside when I had to turn my seat warmers on in my car and put an extra blanket on my bed.  I do not handle cold well.  Why, then, have I spent every winter of my life in cold, snowy places, some voluntarily so?  Between Connecticut, Utah and Colorado, all I've learned is that I just know how to drive in the snow, not how to live pleasantly in it! 
11. I need a reason to cook again.  All I've made in the past two months is quesadillas (a.k.a. tortilla + cheese) and PB&J... no, really.  Once I went wild and made a grilled cheese sandwich.  It's sad, really.  I have absolutely no desire to cook for myself, but love to do it for others.  Volunteers?
12. I picked up guitar again a few weeks ago.  One of my friends gave me some mini-lessons and basically let me just mess around, ruining Taylor Swift and Death Cab for everyone in earshot.  Sorry, TayTay.  My birthday present to myself (which I never do, so it's a strange excuse) is a cheap, used guitar I found on Craigslist.  I'm not committed enough to spend hundreds of dollars but I want to be able to play when I'm in the mood, so it's perfect.  I just have to convince myself keeping my nails un-femininely short is doable. 
13. I'm going hiking in Estes with Jessica tomorrow.  Nothing will ever compare to the forests of New England, but the mountain views I saw last time I went with my mom were not half bad.  And the plan is to find a waterfall... I'm excited to get dirty and tired and covered in nature :) 
14. Lunch today was absolutely perfect.  I biked around a quiet neighborhood while eating my PB&J (skills!!) until I found a park, soaked in the sun, enjoyed the breeze, cross-stitched and pondered life to my heart's content.  It was as quiet as nature can be, with hardly any people walking by... just perfect.
15. I went to a farewell dinner for a coworker friend on Wednesday.  She was one of the first people I met at the bank, and I'm sad to see her go (albeit onto better things for her!).  We went to a little Mexican place in Loveland, and I had sopapillas for the first time.  Delicious.  Karis and I bonded over dessert and the awkwardness that had ensued earlier that day when some other coworkers, who hadn't been invited, were upset they weren't asked to be part of the gift she and I had gotten for Katy.  Oops.
16. I feel like Adele knows me.  Taylor too.  It's kind of unnerving. 
17. The month of October is going to be WILD.  As in, I think I might die.  First weekend, General Conference road trip.  Second weekend (including Thursday and Friday), RACHEL'S WEDDING! in Californ-i-a.  LA and San Diego?  Yes please.  Third weekend, YSA conference.  Fourth weekend, another road trip to Utah for ASHLEY'S WEDDING.  Fifth weekend, some Halloween festivities, guaranteed.  In between the weekends?  Work.  Holy cow, it's going to be nuts.
18. Goober gets feistier by the day.  He's started tipping over his house nearly every night, and then gets frustrated because he can't get inside it.  Poor helpless little guy.
19. I learned all about rugby last weekend.  One of my friends is a little (a LOT) obsessed with it, and since the rugby world cup only happens every four years (who knew?!) he invited a group over to watch.  As I sat there clueless, he patiently explained terms, positions, and rules.  Go All Blacks!
20. Once I find out about the PB job, I've committed myself to enrolling in an online accounting class through BYU.  If I'm ever going to decide whether pursuing an MBA is the way to go, it might as well be now, while I try to figure out where I'm going to end up in the next year.
21. My roommate's family (mom, sister, and dog) is coming into town tonight/tomorrow.  They'll be staying at the apartment.  It's going to be interesting climbing over everyone on my way out every morning!
22. The ten-year anniversary of September 11th was a few weeks ago.  It was disappointing to see how little it mattered to most people.  I realize that the majority of the country wasn't as directly involved in the event as my family and hometown, but church went on without mention of it for the majority of the meetings.  It's important to move on, but it's just as important to remember.
23. I want to say something grand for my last point, like how far I've come in the last year.  In some ways, I feel like an entirely different person.  Geographically, yes.  Spiritually, yes.  Fitness-ly, yes.  In other ways, not as much.  But I'm getting there.  Here's to another year of uncertainty, decisions, change, learning, and growth :)

Yep! It's a diesel.

What a strange week this has been.  I didn't know how much I'd come to depend on the personal schedule I'd developed in the last month until it was all thrown off.  Between my long weekend trip to Connecticut (more on that later), staying up too late, not getting up for the gym in the morning... it was a physically and emotionally draining week, but I made it through.  Along with that, I had some... unique? experiences that I couldn't help but laugh at.

-Yet another person approached me at the gas station, attempting to "save" me from the mistake I was making of putting diesel into my car.  It makes me laugh, really.  It's always the same type:  older man, friendly, concerned, usually driving a truck.  Every time.  And they always have the same reaction:

Concerned man:  "Your car takes diesel?"  (well-worded, not accusatory if he's right, or stupid sounding if he's wrong)
Me smiling innocently:  "Yep!  It's a diesel."  (I point to the conveniently placed "Diesel" logo on the car.  And think, Really?  Again?)
Man:  "Wow!  What kind of car is that?"  (feigned interest to cover up the fact he's actually wrong)
Me:  "A Jetta."  (Okay, kind sir, you can be on your way now...)
Man:  "Hmm.  How's the gas mileage?"  (This question never fails.  It's the only thing people know about diesels, that they get better mileage.  About as much as I know, too.)
Me:  "About 45 on the highway."  (...)
Man:  "Nice!  I assume it's turbo?"  (This only comes from the truck drivers, because they know a little more)
Me:  Yep!  (Awkward giggle)
Man:  (insert random quip about his car/truck that gets 15/18/25 mpg to keep the conversation going)
Me:  Yeah, I like my car.  (I know nothing about it, what do you want me to say??)
Man:  Okay, well I just wanted to make sure... (that you're not actually the dumb blonde I thought you were)
Me:  Thanks for your concern!  Bye!  (Yep.  I'm not.)

I honestly do appreciate the type of person that sees something unusual, recognizes there may be a problem, and actively tries to fix it.  Every person that's come up to me at the gas station means well, and it's good to know that there are people willing to risk personal embarrassment to make sure I'm not doing something dumb (as opposed to the sign dancers, who risk personal embarrassment for monetary gain.  Somehow not as classy).  It's unfortunate, though, that it's because I'm young, female, and blonde (more the first two, but you never know) that this concern is raised.  If it were another older man, or any man for that matter, or an older woman pumping diesel, I don't believe they would be approached about it.  Just a thought.  Tell me if I'm wrong.

- The second funny moment occurred on Friday when I was working as a substitute teller in Greeley, a branch about 45 minutes from my own (I often am "borrowed" by other branches to cover short-staffed days, since my branch is more flexible with having enough people on the schedule).  A decently attractive guy came in, we acknowledged each other politely, and I went back to my work stuffing envelopes.  The other teller, Jackie, greeted him at the window next to mine and started completing his transaction.  I could just feel his eyes on me, though, so to keep from having an awkward interaction I just refused to look up.  I was "saved by the bell" when a customer came through the drive through behind me and I had to leave my post.  I quickly realized, however, that because the window is so low to the ground, I had to bend over to extract their deposit slip from the drawer, with my back to this guy... I just felt like I was giving him a better "view" than he needed!  When I turned around to go back to my station, he was obviously trying to make eye contact.  I ignored him, almost just to see how long I could play this little game.  Jackie finished his deposit, and on his way out, he stopped right in front of me (I had to look up, just to get it over with) and he said, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Nicole Kidman?"  I just looked at him for a second, then shook my head, giggled awkwardly (apparently I do that often) and my other coworker Carrie broke the awkward silence with something like, "Wow, what a compliment!"  I smiled and said, "Thanks, I'll take it."  And then he left.

Here's the thing.  It was a nice compliment, but after a good five minutes of trying to get my attention, is that really all he could come up with?   I would have expected a little more out of a guy who I knew had used lines like that before on other girls, and especially after having that long to prepare.  I know I'm just giving him a hard time, he tried, but... I look nothing like her.  To prove my point:


                                                Nicole Kidman.                                 Me.

                         Sar... kidding.  Nicole.                                                 Sarah.

                            

Now the true test... who is this?

       

The answer... not me!  I may or may not have posted that last picture to make me feel slightly better about myself after looking through all of her gorgeous glamour shots.  My hair at one point was that bad, I'll admit, but sadly enough I couldn't find decent proof of it to share.  And I've gotten it under control since.  Sorry, kids. 

Anyway, that was my week.  Here's to a more sane one coming up!  Smile, life is good :)

A love letter.

To my one and only,

It’s taken me too long to write this.  Excuse my poor timing and word fumbling and general awkwardness.  I get like that when I’m in love.  Yes, there, I said it.  I’m in love with you.  It feels so good to say it out loud… if you only knew how badly I want to shout it from the (highest) rooftops!

 As long as I’ve known you (it seems like forever), it’s been the same story.  I’d come visit, we’d spend some time together, share some special moments, and then part ways.  Each time would be an entirely new experience.  It was like I was always seeing you from a new angle, learning every inch of your map, and essentially meeting you all over again.  I felt like I was opening so many doors with you, exploring and learning, even while sometimes getting lost along the way.  The mystery, the thrill of the unknown… I should have recognized the very first time that I was falling for you.

But it wasn’t until recently that I just knew.  I must not have seen the flashing signs before, but I should have guessed a long time ago that I would end up here… it seems meant to be.  In the time we’ve been apart, even with all the distance between us (which, by the way, I take full responsibility for.  I’m so sorry.  It wasn’t you, it was me.) I’ve felt nothing but a nagging emptiness, which I knew that only you could fill.  It turns out freedom ain’t nothin’ but missin’ you (Look, now I’ve even turned to Taylor Swift references… something is terribly awry).   

What better way, I thought, to express my love than by telling you all of the reasons why I care for you so much?  I’m not trying to be too gushy or romantic, but I think it’s the only way to truly express what I feel.  And, since this declaration of love may be a shock to you, I should justify my reasoning. 

You… are old and young at the same time.  You are fresh, but classic.  Weathered, but glistening.  I’ll admit, you sometimes get a little too dirty for my liking, but you clean up well and you’re always trying to improve, which is what really counts.  You might be a little rough around the edges, but I know deep in your center there is a place of beauty, growth, and peace.  You have such a compelling, complicated history, but you are always looking forward and upward.   (Basically, you present these mind-blowing dichotomies that make me all kinds of crazy about you). 

You inspire me more than anything else has in my lifetime.  We’ve shared excitements and disappointments (you can’t win all the time).  You make me crazy, but in a good way.  In one day, you can make me want to be a writer, an artist, a singer, a model, a doctor, a baseball player… you force me to see myself as I am, and in your reflection I also see my potential (I may feel like I’m stuck, but you remind me that there’s nothing a few more years of school and a good power suit can’t fix).  I know I’ll never be as cultured as you (some of what you like is kind of out there), but as long as you don’t all of a sudden start listening to country music I think we’ll be okay.

In all seriousness, I know you’ve been through a lot lately, and although I couldn’t be there for you at your most trying of times, I’m sure you know you were in my thoughts and prayers.  I hurt for you, seeing you recover from chaos and slowly rebuild.  I’m so proud that you’ve bounced back and are now standing taller than ever.  You never wavered in your values, and instead of running from tragedy, you faced it without fear.  I am in awe when I recognize your strength, your acceptance, and your drive to be the best.  

 The problem is, my love, I’ve accepted that this letter won’t change a thing between us.  I have a sinking feeling that if we ever parted ways permanently, I’d be the only one nursing a broken heart.  You probably wouldn’t even notice I was gone.  You’ve changed my life in so many ways, yet I’m sure I hardly left any impression on you.  I don’t mind, though.  It’s enough for me to have just been in your presence, to have learned so much, to have shared the time that we did.  I do wish we could be together forever, but it’s just not practical.  Starcrossed lovers... I’m sure we’ll see each other again.  Maybe one day you’ll wake up and realize how much you’ve missed me, call me up, and we’ll go from there.  I’m not counting on it, but a girl can dream.

I love you, New York City.  Don’t ever forget that.

Yours always,

Sarah Louise